Let’s talk about about resolutions real quick.
What is a resolution? What does it mean to be resolved to do something? How are these for strong definitions: firmly determined, hell-bent, intent, set.
You wake up January 1st. Resolved. Absolutely resolved to change. To be different. To make this year count.
Yet according to Forbes, although many Americans make New Year’s resolutions, just 9.2% of those people achieve their New Year’s goals. That means ~91% of all New Year’s resolutions fail.
Why do we do this? Why do we set goals or make resolutions with the best of intentions only to join a mass of people who abandon their resolutions by February? Here are a few ways you can make sure your New Year’s resolutions stick.
Find your “why”.
Some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions are to lose weight, get in shape, start a business, stop smoking, save more money, etc.
These are all admirable goals, but let’s get honest. If you truly wanted to lose weight… If you were truly motivated to lose weight… If you were actually going to lose weight, you wouldn’t spend all of November and December refusing to workout. Or binge your life away (literally) on sweets, unhealthy eating and too much alcohol.
If you were truly resolved to set and stick to a budget, you wouldn’t spend the majority of your December leaching money out of your paychecks to fund an extravagant Christmas you can’t actually afford.
If you’re too scared… or not motivated enough to make a change now, what makes you think once the New Year rolls around, you’ll be ready and jump right in?
You shouldn’t wait until January 1st and expect your entire life and all your habits to just magically do a 180º and change for the better. Because, what is magical about January 1st? I’ll let you in on a little secret… nothing.
It’s introspection time.
Stop focusing on the date of Jan 1 and how everything will magically change on that date, and start focusing on WHY you want to make that change. You need a “why” that moves you from “I want do this” to “I need to do this.”
Maybe you want to lose weight because it’ll enable you to run around and play with your grandkids. Maybe you need to set a budget and stick to it because you want to be able to pay for your kid’s college education.
What is your “why”? Your driving desire. When you’re in the middle of making a lifestyle change, it is hard. It is gritty, and it is easy to lose motivation. Try making your “why” into a mantra you can repeat to yourself when you get discouraged. Keep your it top of mind.
Get laser-focused.
Making a major life change requires focus.
If you start out January 1 by making 10 resolutions that all require a major life change, you are likely to achieve none of them.
Instead, focus on one big goal at a time. What is your top priority? Maybe you would really like to start a business, lose 20 pounds, run a half marathon, and start saving money. Making a major behavior change takes effort and focus.
Try this: list out goals you would like to accomplish in 2019.
Rank the goals from most important & urgent to least. Then keep that list somewhere safe where you can reference it later.
For now, only focus on creating a goal out of your top-priority resolution. Give yourself 2-3 months to focus on that one thing. Once you turn the actions to support that goal into habits and make a lifestyle change, then you can move on to the next resolution. You could try making one resolution per quarter.
Treat your resolutions like goals.
You’re starting out the year saying, “I’ll get in shape this year.”
That’s FAR less effective than setting a smart goal. How will you measure whether or not you’ve “gotten in shape”? How will you know if you’ve succeeded or failed?
And if you’re someone who is very out of shape, doesn’t this seem too daunting to accomplish? Where will you start?
Have you ever heard of setting SMART goals? Here’s the breakdown:
- Specific: clarify the details of what/where/when/with whom will you achieve this goal.
- Measurable: your goal needs to have an indicator of progress. How will you measure it?
- Attainable: do you have the time, skills or money required to achieve this goal?
- Relevant: the goal is directly related to who you are or who you want to be. Reaching this goal will add clear value to your life.
- Timely: give yourself deadlines. A timeless goal is an unachieved goal.
Instead of “I will lose weight this year”, try “I will lose 20 pounds by April 1st”.
Break your resolutions into smaller goals.
If your big goal for the year is to lose weight, then think through how you will do this with the utmost specificity.
“I will lose 20 pounds by April 1” is a good goal. It is specific, measurable and timely. You will need to evaluate to see if it’s relevant to you personally.
And you can make it even more specific by breaking it down. How will you achieve this goal? What small things will you do to ensure you succeed?
If losing 20 pounds by April 1 is your goal, it may seem daunting to think of that big number. You could break it into smaller goals by saying you will lose 7 pounds each month in January, February, and March to get you just beyond your total of 20 pounds by April 1st.
You also may need to think about how you will do this.
Do you have a weakness for sweets? Are you a constant snacker even when you’re not hungry? Do overly processed foods make up a majority of your diet?
Do you drink your calories by consuming too many sodas? Are you an avid exerciser already or a couch potato? Your answers to questions like this will determine what smaller, more specific goals you set for yourself. Here’s an example:
Overall goal:
- Lose 20 pounds by April 1.
To do this I will:
- Limit myself to one soda per day.
- Limit myself to three meals per day with a morning and an afternoon snack.
- Track my caloric intake via an app like MyFitnessPal.
- Drink half my bodyweight in water each day.
- Go on a 30 minute walk 3 days a week (or a different level of exercise, time-limit or number of days a week depending on your starting fitness level).
This is one example of how you can make smaller goals to achieve one larger goal.
Be sure to modify these goals to what is achievable for your lifestyle.
If you already work out three days a week, maybe you want to up it to four or five workouts a week. Maybe you aren’t a soda drinker, but you have a weakness for potato chips so you need to set a goal to cut out or limit those foods.
Perhaps you currently drink 5 sodas a day so it’s not feasible to cut it down to one right away. Start slow and be realistic with where you are. You are more likely to succeed if you make small changes that feel achievable and can grow into lifestyle changes.
Keep them in front of you and check-in often.
We find goal setting on a whiteboard or a giant wall calendar to be very helpful.
Then, we keep this calendar or whiteboard in a place we will see it often. Our business goals are displayed in our home office. Our personal goals are displayed in our bedroom.
We see these goals daily and it reminds us what we are shooting for. Keeping your goals top of mind is key to success.
Set checkpoints.
Maybe you will check in every week. Maybe every month. Maybe even daily.
You want to check in often enough to see progress. But not too often that you’ll be discouraged if you don’t see a change.
For example, if you’re trying to lose weight and you weigh yourself daily, you may be discouraged that the number on the scale hasn’t changed or might even increase with water weight fluctuation.
If you only weigh yourself once a month, that may not be often enough to see progress and keep you motivated. Find that sweet spot.
Share with someone you trust and be open to accountability.
This could be a spouse, a good friend, a parent or child, your mentor, your personal trainer.
But it should be someone you trust. Someone who believes in you. And most importantly, someone who will check in with you and hold you accountable.
Have a serious conversation with this person and ask them if they are willing to check in with you. E.g. texting daily, texting weekly, meeting weekly, whatever frequency you feel you need to ensure success.
Make sure they know that you want them to keep you accountable. What will happen if you have a setback on the way to your goal? Will you need tough-love to get you back on track or do you just want gentle encouragement? Make sure your accountability partner knows what you are asking of them.
Does accountability really matter?
Valid question, friend. Answer me this:
- Have you ever set a SMART goal without a friend to team up with and failed to achieve the goal?
- Do you “go solo” on most pursuits in life with little to show for it?
- Are you more likely to succeed at something when a savvy friend is cheering you on?
- You’re trying to prove to yourself that you can do it. Are you avoiding the support of others?
- Ever played a competitive sport without a coach? How did you perform compared to actually having a coach?
- When you have a brilliant idea, do you execute by yourself or with the help of someone else?
- Do you perform better at exams when you have an instructor, or without one?
Support is KEY to success. Whether one friend you trust or a family member or a small group of selfless humans. Find your team. Your person. Your advocate. And give it everything you’ve got.
What’s your SMART goal?
